I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
