I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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