so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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