it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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