Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
