batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
where are my eyebrows?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
