wrigley field is MILF paradise
Fuck appropriateness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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