that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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