Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
