As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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