so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
