he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
