Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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