i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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