That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
