Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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