My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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