Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
