Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize