I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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