you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
