Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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