I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
