Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
