He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
