I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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