Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
