2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
