I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
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Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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