Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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