is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
