On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
