How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly