stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.