im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.