: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
home. puking in laundry basket.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.