you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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