Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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