Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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(480): View more from Arizona

p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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(205): View more from Alabama

So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

they had a keg party to fund her abortion.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"

(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.

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(416): View more from Toronto

that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle

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(906): View more from Michigan

Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?

(1-906): View more from Michigan

It's okay.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants

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