i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
