woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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