I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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