The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
