This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i black out too much to be "responsible"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
