I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
