Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
