Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
