We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
