Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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