yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
