i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
