Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
