awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
