yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
