In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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