Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i think my cat just said my name.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
