I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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