I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
