My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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