Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
do herpes really smell.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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