My brain says no but my pants say off.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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