Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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