"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
