I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize