Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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