i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
