I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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