I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
