is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
