Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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