Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
