Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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